I was thinking about thinking. Do you ever do that? Well, I went to my trusty little buddy, Google, and learned that the mind can process anywhere between 50,000 and 70,000 thoughts in a given day. At first I thought, there's no way I can think of 70,000 things in a day. And then, I thought about this some more. The last few days I have been paying closer attention to everything that comes and goes through my mind. Although, I don't have the patience to sit and count every thought I have, I am fairly certain I believe these numbers are accurate. At least for me. As I have been carefully observing my thoughts, I decided to share with you what I've noticed.
My thoughts are not full sentences. Well, unless I'm practicing a conversation I plan to have with someone. Or, I re-think a conversation that has already taken place. A mental eye roll counts as a thought, right? I make sigh, grunt, and groan noises in my head. (For example: arg, uh, oh, DOH, grrr.) When I laugh quietly to myself, I actually mentally say "Ha ha ha" sometimes. I'm guessing that at least 75% of the "thoughts" that enter my mind in a day are just one or two random words at a time. Random song lyrics occasionally pop in my head. Okay, not occasionally. Frequently. Very frequently. There is absolutely, positively no coherent flow to what goes on in my head. If my thoughts were written down in a book, it would never be on the New York Times Best Seller list. Here's why:
Chapter 1
Just kidding.
Once upon a time....
No.
Chapter 1. Yes. Chapter 1.
Where are my keys?
1, 2, 3,4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9... KEYS! 9th pocket. Always one of the last pockets. Ugh.
Wait. Snow?
(Will Ferrell pops in my head and he's dress liked Elf)
SANTA!!! I KNOW HIM!
Melissa. Focus.
Skip ahead to Chapter 10. I'll fill in the rest later.
What...is...that...
Hm. I'm shedding.
HELLO, COFFEE! Mmmm....
Yes, my mind works in goofy ways. A few weeks ago on the blog I talked about mindfulness. Our minds are pretty powerful and we spend a lot of time in our 'headspace'. Sometimes our thoughts aren't always silly, funny, or maybe even pleasant. It's probably unrealistic to think that all 70,000 of our daily thoughts can be upbeat, but I challenge you to make sure there's more positive than negative going on up there. It's also completely okay to quiet your thoughts and just let that space be vacant for a moment.
Last week Monday was April 1st. I played an April Fool's Day joke on everyone and no one noticed. I'll try harder next year.
As I was driving to Barnes and Noble this morning, the Mental Health Monday blog was on the back of my mind. Trying to come up with a topic to focus on has proven to be a challenge. I couldn't concentrate on any one thing. Mostly because I downloaded new music and having my own karaoke party in the car took priority.
When I finally arrived at Barnes and Noble, I walked in with my laptop bag all set to chug some coffee and blog about mental well being. If you are familiar with the Onalaska Barnes and Noble, you are probably well aware that the folks there are pretty stingy when it comes to wall outlets. In fact, there is only one in the cafe area. Of course, someone had herself planted right beside the one outlet, but was not using it. Typically, this would send the Melissa into a silent meltdown. The MacBook I have belongs in a museum and has a battery life that lasts about as long as a goldfish out of water. I handled "my spot" being taken over like a champ. I ordered my grande white chocolate mocha with a peanut butter cookie. Then, I walked across the store to a group of tables near a wall outlet and settled in for some hardcore blogging.
As soon as the laptop had a pulse, Facebook magically opened when I hit the "FB" link on my navigation bar. After all, Facebook is how all great work is put on the sidelines. Within minutes, the window cleaners arrived and began washing the windows directly behind my chair. To my left was a clear view of the register counter and I spent too much time analyzing how the store could be so organized, yet behind the counter looked like teenager's bedroom. To my right, the International Travel section started whispering to me and a Travel Ireland book was the loudest. You're Irish, Melissa. Pick me up. Read me. What blog?
What blog? was right! I gave up, packed up, and within an hour, I was in a fetal position on the couch in a sound sleep.
That's when it hit me -- NAPS! Sometimes, you just need a nap. How someone can crash for almost three hours after a venti (yes, they screwed up and my coffee was larger than I ordered) mocha? There is no explanation except that sometimes, you just need a nap.
Today's Mental Health Moment Summed Up:
If the opportunity to nap comes knocking, you go to that door with your favorite stuffed animal, flannel pajamas, and your blanket and give it a big hug.
My first wave of ailments and illnesses began 15 months ago. I know you have all been on the edge of your seats wondering when this was finally going to happen. Well, here we are.
Monday, March 24th, 2014.
A day for the record books.
I'd like to introduce you to . . .
GRANDPA JOE
Melissa's Very First Bedsore!!
(Yes, I named my bedsore after the Willy Wonka character!)
I didn't want to show off too much Melissa, but this little fella is located on my right hip. So, you can pull your head out of the gutter -- that's not my rear end!
You can all carry on with whatever it was you were doing. Let's hope that Grandma Georgina, Grandma Josephine, and Grandpa George don't decide to make an appearance!
If you're on Facebook or some other social media site, you probably notice people complain about Mondays. What is it about this particular day of the week that gets our undies in a bundle? When I was in school, I hated Sunday nights because they lead to Monday mornings. Like so many others, I despised Monday. Maybe now that I work a different schedule and I'm not a Monday through Friday 9 to 5-er, Mondays are a bit different for me. Unfortunately, for many others, Monday can cause quite a bit of irritability.
Sure, the alarm clock goes off and you're probably still in weekend mode. "Just one more day" echoes in your head as you smack that snooze button like it's a fly on the dessert you're about devour. A high percentage of workers arrive late on Monday -- more than any other day of the week. Monday is also considered "heart attack day" because more heart attacks occur on Monday than any other day.
Come on, Folks! Chill out. Monday is not that bad! It's an opportunity to start a brand new week. If you're staring at the clock counting down the days until Friday, that's sad. You're missing out. Make Mondays fun! Here are a few ideas on how to do that:
Treat yourself to something! Many people order out on Fridays. Maybe Monday would be a better day? Who doesn't like a delivered meal right to the workplace? And, you wouldn't have to spend time packing your lunch on Monday morning, which could give you a little extra time to read the paper, watch some funny YouTube videos, or sing your favorite wake-me-up-song into a spatula!
I don't believe that refrigerators were made to be naked. Go buy yourself some funky magnets and keep a list of "Things to Look Forward to Today". Sometimes when we wake up and already have a negative attitude about the day, the only thing that may come to mind is "Leaving Work" or "There's a 2% chance that class could get canceled". If you can't find anything better than that to look forward to, keep thinking!
Make a playlist on your iPod or burn a CD (if people still do that these days) specifically set for the Monday morning drive! Songs should be fun and upbeat, or whatever puts you in a good mood! Here are just a few of my favorite drive-to-work tunes:
"Find the Beat Again" - Sugarland
"It's a Sunshine Day" - The Brady Bunch
"Don't Stop Believin'" - Journey
"Get Down" - Audio Adrenaline
"Good Day" - Jewel
"Man in the Mirror" - Michael Jackson
"Outside My Window" - Sarah Buxton
"Walking on Sunshine" - Katrina and the Waves
"When There's No One Around" - Garth Brooks
"Wouldn't It Be Nice" - Beach Boys
"Blessed" - Martina McBride
Remember last week when I talked about Me Time? Schedule yourself a Me Time session every Monday!
On average, people don't smile on Mondays until 11:15 AM. That's ridiculous! Smile, people!!! First thing when you wake up!
Make your own list of what you can do to improve your Mondays! They really aren't that bad! You have between 51 and 53 Mondays in a year! Go make them count!!!
I think I have mentioned this before, but when I look at the traffic that comes to my blog, it's mostly to my posts about my visits to the ER. I find this interesting. Mostly because it is probably my least favorite place to visit, the amount of money spent there could fund some pretty incredible vacations, and I never leave there feeling like I'm leaving Disneyland! Actually wait... I think when I left Disneyland, I felt exhausted, sore, and completely broke. Maybe, at a later date, I will explore how the ER is like Disneyland.
I bring up what we are now calling Emergency Services because I had another visit there yesterday. Apparently, when you work in a hospital, people know when you are functioning at your normal level of goofy. With a blood pressure of 135/93 and a heart rate of 127, I was escorted over to the new Emergency department. Now, they must know me pretty well because had I not been "escorted", Melissa would have got in the car, bought an ice cream cone, and then found the nearest couch with a Dexter marathon rolling.
Of course, as soon as I was called back, my blood pressure was 120/80 and my heart rate was within normal limits. Don't get me wrong, this is awesome being normal. Remember, I am now a "frequent flyer" and "one of those patients", so we tend to lie about symptoms, seek medications, and just come to the ER for shits and giggles.
The nurse was a little short with me and I can't really blame her. "What brought you in today?" is a question that has appropriate and inappropriate responses. I may have provided a few inappropriate ones. My legs and my coworkers made me. (Because, as I mentioned...I would have just played doctor and diagnosed myself with Netflix withdrawal.)
So, I was escorted to an exam room. I work for the hospital and I am pretty excited that the Get Well Network is now available in all of the rooms. Unfortunately, I didn't really feel like playing around with it, so I did not help boost their usage numbers during this visit. This visit was short and sweet anyway, which is good.
Now, I don't always take/post selfies, but when I do, I'm usually rocking some sort of strange fashion.
Like the one of me wearing my 5-year-old niece's jacket:
Or, the one where I match my attire to my goldfish crackers:
Or, the one where I live by my grandma's motto - If you've got it, flaunt it!
And the ones where I find apparel to try on:
And then ... there are these...
Who takes a selfie in a hospital gown and posts it on social media? Pretty much everyone with a camera these days! No shame, right? I just remember what a hit my Christmas letter was this last year and thought, hey... just in case I don't get to Disneyland, a Mary Chapin Carpenter or Lori McKenna concert, or travel somewhere besides the ER in 2014, I should be prepared.
Upon exam, the doc - who I should add stitched my lip back in June of 2011 - determined that this is probably just a virus because of all the swollen lymph nodes and glands. Within 45 minutes, I was dressed and out the door with orders not to work, to rest, and take in lots of fluids given my dehydration history. And, he mentioned something about coming back in if I get worse. There was also something about a follow-up, but selective hearing only caught part of that. The part where he said, you might want to. I'm kind of thinking at this point maybe instead of a follow-up with my doctor, I should just start planning a Celebration of Life gathering. It's actually not a bad idea. There's a lot celebrate. Just not my health.
So, another weekend of water and gatorade, Netflix, Ibuprofen, napping, and more napping after a week of doing much of the same. I'm guessing I'll finish the fifth season of Dexter and maybe achieve my first bedsore or something. It's quite shocking I haven't had one yet. I'll work on this.
Is there some kind of chemical reaction in the brain that occurs from just hearing the word sugar? Really, when someone says sugar or Kit Kat, there's a small dose of excitement that warms my heart. Like one of Pavlov's dogs, I'm all set to salivate just from the word sugar.
When all of my health issues started last summer, I began having frequent issues with hypoglycemia. For those of you non-medical folks (like myself), this is when your blood sugar drops too low. Anything lower than 70 mg/dL is what is considered low. (Don't ask me what that whole mg/dL stuff is. From my chemistry/biology days, I have a rough idea, but trying to explain it could be disastrous for all involved!) There are some fantastic (sarcasm right there) symptoms that go along with this. For me, I've had the blurry vision, uncontrollable shaking and weakness, headache, sweating, and heart racing.
This isn't something to mess around with, or so some have told me. I did have one physician tell me that someone of my height and weight shouldn't be too concerned about low readings. Nevertheless, I invested $250 into my pre-diabetes starter kit last fall and started checking my blood sugar fairly regularly. Keep in mind, without a diabetes diagnosis, this is all out of pocket. Insurance hasn't covered any of it. Each test strip I use costs $1.75. (Each time I check my blood sugar is one Kit Kat and a can of Diet Coke at Kwik Trip!)
Checking your blood sugar can get old. This is especially true for someone who is not labeled with any type of diabetes. I quit checking after the physician told me the low readings were normal and he did not feel there was any reason to be concerned. It didn't take me long to learn what my low version of normal is and what my abnormal version of low is. I don't start experiencing the symptoms until my blood sugar is in the low 60s. Back in the fall, I was having readings in the 40s and that was where we ran into some trouble. Over time, these things cleared up, or so I thought.
A few weeks ago, I was at work and had taken my morning break and ate breakfast. Within an hour, I was experiencing the oh-my-god-I-need-lots-of-carbs attack that should follow a meal that closely. After having three of these episodes in one day, I decided it was time to start checking the blood sugar again.
I've been doing this checking thing off and on for seven months. Do people ever get used to this? I can't even remember how many tubes of test strips I have gone through, but EVERY TIME... this is what I look like:
The entire process is quite an experience for me. First, you prep the needle in the little poker machine thing (lancing device). You put the test strip in the meter. And then, you press the lancing device against your finger. This is the part where I look at something to distract me. Sometimes it's the wall. Sometimes I cross my eyes when I squint them shut. And then, I tell myself, "C'mon you pansy! Press the dang button!!" And the CLICK sound is the worst part of the entire experience.
I can't figure out why this is such a big production. I've handled three arterial blood gas tests like a champ, a few failed IV attempts, countless blood draws, and the stupid finger poke kills me every time.
Today is Monday. I bet you thought I forgot that last week I started this whole "Monday's Mental Health Moment" thing. I didn't. In fact, I started thinking about it last week. Not only is it Mental Health Monday in TheOtherMelissaMcCarthy's blogland, this is also the 100th blog post. That calls for a list.
Today, we're going to talk about something near and dear to my heart: Me Time! Everyone needs Me Time. If you are one of those people with kids, a significant other, a job (or several jobs), school, pets, and countless other obligations, you may not even know what I am talking about. As defined by Melissa, me time is time spent doing something you enjoy. It should be something you do for yourself.
In honor of the 100th blog post, I should have made a list of 100 me time activities. I didn't. I stopped at 71 because I'm ready to go to bed and enjoy 8 solid hours of me time. Your homework can be to come up with the other 29.
71 "Me Time" Activity Ideas!
(#1) Take a walk.
(#2) Read a book.
(#3) Treat yourself to a coffee, tea, hot chocolate, or whatever you like.
(#4) Plan a vacation.
(#5) Go for a massage.
(#6) Hop in the car and go for a drive.
(#7) Write in a journal.
(#8) SING!!!!
(#9) Sudoku.
(#10) Have I ever told you about Barnes and Noble? You should go there. They don't kick you out for loitering. Trust me on this.
(#11) Play a musical instrument. If you don't know how to play one, take lessons.
(#12) If you have no desire to play an instrument, go find some live music somewhere.
(#13) Ride a bicycle.
(#14) Go to your favorite ice cream shop and get ice cream! (The Pearl here in La Crosse is my personal favorite. I recommend the cotton candy ice cream!)
(#15) Take yourself out to dinner. Go alone. I dare you.
(#16) Make a to-do list.
(#17) Take a nap!
(#18) Have you heard about Netflix? It's amazing how fast 4,500 hours of a television series can add up. I hit the end of a television series and I always think to myself, "That was some incredible me time!"
(#19) Take your dog for a walk.
(#20) Refer to #19: If you don't have a dog, go to the humane society and adopt a dog.
(#21) Refer to #19 and #20: If you don't have a dog and don't want/can't have a dog... sorry about that. You can go to Petco or PetSmart and look around. They let you do that, I think.
(#22) Refer to #21: While you're at Petco, watch the fish. I've been told that can be relaxing.
(#23) Refer to #22: If you have a lot of me time on your hands, you could name all the fish.
(#24) Just about every device you buy these days comes with a camera. Go out and take pictures of stuff.
(#25) Find a spot you like and watch the sunset.
(#26) Explore the wonderful world of Craigslist. There is some interesting stuff on there.
(#27) Watch funny YouTube videos! Like this one:
(#28) You are never too old to color in a coloring book! Ever.
(#29) Write out some handwritten notes to people! A handwritten note is something that can make a person's day, so you're kind of hitting two birds with one stone on this one.
(#30) Walk around the mall and watch people. Just don't be creepy about it. People don't like that.
(#31) Listen to music.
(#32) Watch another funny YouTube video! Like this one:
(#33) Google stuff. Just not your ailments. WebMD gives everyone a brain tumor or cancer and me time shouldn't be stressful.
(#34) Crossword puzzles!
(#35) Watch a favorite movie!
(#36) Refer to #35: Go to the theater and see a movie!
(#37) Write in a journal: Make a list of your favorite moments you've had in life!
(#38) Jump rope!
(#39) Get a pair of binoculars and go explore the great outdoors.
(#40) Refer to #40: You could also spy on your neighbors. Not recommended, but it's a possibility.
(#41) Read the newspaper.
(#42) Watch another funny YouTube video! Like this one:
(#43) Take dance lessons!
(#44) Do Yoga!
(#45) Call someone you haven't talked to in a while. Yes, I said CALL. Facebook and text messaging cannot replace the sound of a human voice.
(#46) Go to Starbucks and get a birthday cake pop. You won't regret it.
(#47) Start a blog!
(#48) One Word: PINTREST!!!
(#49) "Word Chums" is an awesome game you can download on your phone/iPod/tablet/etc. Try it out!
(#50) Go to a store like Michael's or Hobby Lobby and find a project!
(#51) Go to the grocery store and buy one of those "naughty" items you never buy. (We'll talk about why we don't label food as "naughty" in a different blog entry!) My go-to grocery store favorite is Ben and Jerry's ice cream or Oreos and milk!
(#52) Speaking of eating, have you ever tried a Kit Kat?
(#53) Watch another funny video! Like this one:
(#54) Look through old photo albums. If you weren't around in the days when pictures were actually developed into prints, look through photos on your device.
(#55) Refer to #54: If you're looking through photos on your device, upload them to Walgreens, Target, or Shutterfly and order prints! Then, make an album or a scrapbook.
(#56) Look up cheesy jokes!
(#57) Research this day in history!
(#58) Write a poem.
(#59) Read poetry.
(#60) Go to a museum.
(#61) Plant a garden. Weed a garden. Do something in a garden.
(#62) Mow the lawn. (This is not something I ever do. There are people out there who actually enjoy this. I am not judgmental.)
(#63) Go to a sporting event!
(#64) Take a canoe or a kayak out on the water. If you don't have one, you can rent one!
(#65) Do pottery!
(#66) Learn to knit. Apparently, there are lots of YouTube videos on this, too.
(#67) Paint something. Just don't do vandalism or anything. Unless that's what you're into, but again, definitely NOT recommended and don't you ever say it's something Melissa told you to do.
(#68) Go test drive your dream car. Unless you're not licensed to drive a vehicle. This one isn't for you, then.
(#69) Refer to #68: Go-karts!!!
(#70) Find a rock climbing wall. What you do once you find it is entirely up to you. Some people are into that sort of thing. I'd rather sit on the bench and watch.
