Dear Inconsiderate Smoker,
As you passed me on the street on Tuesday morning, you just so happened to flick the ash of your cigarette into my eye. Had I known it would turn out to be a day-long irritant, I would have stopped you, physically removed your cell phone from the side of your head, and shoved your cigarette up your...
but I just kept walking. I had things to do. Places to be. You apparently know all about that because you were in such a rush you didn't even notice that you sent me into a blinking fit. Something lodged under my left eyelid and instantly my eye began to water. So, I went to class and tried to ignore the fact that every time I would blink, it felt like my lid was rolling over broken glass.
After class, I proceeded on with my day and went to work. By this time, all around my eye was red and more irritated than me. After several attempts at removing whatever was in there, I gave up and went to the walk-in. They sent me directly to an opthamologist, flipped my eyelid inside out, and dug it out with a silver instrument that I'd like to introduce YOUR eyeball to.
Well, I hope you enjoyed your cigarette that I'll be paying $250 for.
Sincerely,
Melissa McCarthy
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