Saturday, March 22, 2014

This is Sick!

I think I have mentioned this before, but when I look at the traffic that comes to my blog, it's mostly to my posts about my visits to the ER.  I find this interesting.  Mostly because it is probably my least favorite place to visit, the amount of money spent there could fund some pretty incredible vacations, and I never leave there feeling like I'm leaving Disneyland!  Actually wait... I think when I left Disneyland, I felt exhausted, sore, and completely broke.  Maybe, at a later date, I will explore how the ER is like Disneyland.

I bring up what we are now calling Emergency Services because I had another visit there yesterday.  Apparently, when you work in a hospital, people know when you are functioning at your normal level of goofy.  With a blood pressure of 135/93 and a heart rate of 127, I was escorted over to the new Emergency department.  Now, they must know me pretty well because had I not been "escorted", Melissa would have got in the car, bought an ice cream cone, and then found the nearest couch with a Dexter marathon rolling.

Of course, as soon as I was called back, my blood pressure was 120/80 and my heart rate was within normal limits.  Don't get me wrong, this is awesome being normal.  Remember, I am now a "frequent flyer" and "one of those patients", so we tend to lie about symptoms, seek medications, and just come to the ER for shits and giggles.

The nurse was a little short with me and I can't really blame her.  "What brought you in today?" is a question that has appropriate and inappropriate responses.  I may have provided a few inappropriate ones.  My legs and my coworkers made me.  (Because, as I mentioned...I would have just played doctor and diagnosed myself with Netflix withdrawal.)

So, I was escorted to an exam room.  I work for the hospital and I am pretty excited that the Get Well Network is now available in all of the rooms.  Unfortunately, I didn't really feel like playing around with it, so I did not help boost their usage numbers during this visit.  This visit was short and sweet anyway, which is good.  

Now, I don't always take/post selfies, but when I do, I'm usually rocking some sort of strange fashion.

Like the one of me wearing my 5-year-old niece's jacket:

Or, the one where I match my attire to my goldfish crackers:

Or, the one where I live by my grandma's motto - If you've got it, flaunt it!

And the ones where I find apparel to try on:

And then ... there are these...

Who takes a selfie in a hospital gown and posts it on social media?  Pretty much everyone with a camera these days!  No shame, right?  I just remember what a hit my Christmas letter was this last year and thought, hey... just in case I don't get to Disneyland, a Mary Chapin Carpenter or Lori McKenna concert, or travel somewhere besides the ER in 2014, I should be prepared.    

Upon exam, the doc - who I should add stitched my lip back in June of 2011 - determined that this is probably just a virus because of all the swollen lymph nodes and glands.  Within 45 minutes, I was dressed and out the door with orders not to work, to rest, and take in lots of fluids given my dehydration history.  And, he mentioned something about coming back in if I get worse.  There was also something about a follow-up, but selective hearing only caught part of that.  The part where he said, you might want to.  I'm kind of thinking at this point maybe instead of a follow-up with my doctor, I should just start planning a Celebration of Life gathering.  It's actually not a bad idea.  There's a lot celebrate.  Just not my health.

So, another weekend of water and gatorade, Netflix, Ibuprofen, napping, and more napping after a week of doing much of the same.  I'm guessing I'll finish the fifth season of Dexter and maybe achieve my first bedsore or something.  It's quite shocking I haven't had one yet.  I'll work on this.  

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