Monday, February 14, 2011

Sleep Deprivation

In my dreams last night, I showed up to my first day of class.  As in, first day of GRAD SCHOOL.  I just went for a tour, but classes were starting and the office people gave me my schedule and told me to get moving.  My first class was a Microbiology class.  I've never taken Micro, nor do I have any desire to take Micro, so when I realized this was my new field, I panicked. 

At 3:33 A.M. I woke up in a cold sweat trying to remember if I had even taken the GRE, yet.  Instead of falling back to sleep like a normal human being, I stared at the ceiling reminding myself that I am not ready to dive into grad school.  Then, I wondered if maybe that dream was supposed to convince me that I AM ready for grad school?!  It was after 4:00 when I had to tell myself that even thinking about this is ridiculous.  I have to get through this semester before I can do ANYTHING.  At that point, I decided it was time to go to sleep.  But, that didn't quite happen. 

Instead of thinking about grad school, I started thinking about relocating away from La Crosse.  For some reason, this thought makes me happier than a fly on a shit pile.  It's a thought that I've invested a lot of time into between writing papers, reading chapters, and watching freshmen make out in the hallways.  (GET A ROOM, YOU MORONS!  Happy Valentine's Day, by the way.)

So, that is how I spent the first few hours of my morning.  Thinking.  About my future.  It's thrilling to think about at this point.  I have four cities in mind and it may come down to a coin toss.  I have been scoping out the job markets, the cost of living, apartments, and YES... I have even scoped out colleges for when I'm ready to pursue my Master's.  (Just, not this fall!)

And then, by 8:00 AM it was right back to the reality of senioritis.  The endless pile of work to do, but I am actually starting to enjoy because it FINALLY pertains to what interests me!  Research topics are narrowed down and will be decided on within a week.  It's in the 40s today and I'm only wearing two layers, instead of 3 or 4.  I tried a new laundry detergent and I haven't broken out in an allergic rash of itchiness, yet.

All in all, I'd say it's been a pretty good day so far.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Seventh Year Senior Vs. The Second Year Freshmen

What is a second year freshman, you ask?  A second year freshman is defined as a sophomore college student who has somehow managed to get through their first year of college while still acting, dressing, and talking like a high school freshman.  I will be sharing some observations and real-life run-ins I've had with this population. 

BIO LAB:  What do you expect to find in a biology lab?  If you think back to high school Biology, odds are you dissected something.  Typically, it's a frog. So, we're sitting in a biology lab.  To get into this particular biology lab, you need to meet the prerequisites, which means that by this point, you've cut open squids, pigs, worms, and starfish.
With that in mind, we show up to lab and there are no dissecting tools to be seen.  Instead, laptops are set up.  What could be better for the passer-outers than a virtual lab?  The lab wasn't really even a dissection.  We had to surgically implant some stuff in the head of this rat.  No virtual cutting.  No virtual blood.  Nothing.  The second year freshman across from me covers her eyes and says, "I CAN'T WATCH THIS."  Maybe she had some sort of bad experience with Super Mario?!  It didn't stop there.  She continued to make a scene and at that point I just became embarrassed to even be in the same room as her.

DUMB QUESTIONS: I've heard so many people say that there is no such thing as a dumb question.  Let me tell you, YES, Virgina, there are dumb questions.  Here are some classic examples from the Second Year Freshmen.

STUDENT:  Uh, Dr. -----, What's worse: Getting kicked out of class, or skipping class?

SAME STUDENT: (to the professor) Have you ever wanted to kick me out of class?
PROFESSOR: I'm not going to answer that.
answer it. 

STUDENT 1: Okay... so ... like... what's the best way to get your door lock unfrozen?
STUDENT 2: Your car door is frozen?
STUDENT 1: No, my apartment door.
STUDENT 2: Your apartment door is frozen?
STUDENT 1: Uh - Yah!  And I was inside!!!

STUDENT: Can we have extra credit?  
(Nothing screams FRESHMAN like this question!)

STUDENT: Okay, so, I'm wondering how, like, when you have that ummm.... that thing... umm...(long pause)... Nevermind.