Thursday, July 21, 2011

Back to School Shopping

Like it or not, August is right around the corner.  The stores already have their "Back to School" sections stocked with notebooks, pencils, pens, folders, binders, and everything else students need.  Before all of you college freshmen venture out to the stores to blow your parents' money, let me give you some words of wisdom.

First of all, go for it.  Buy the most expensive supplies you can find.  Buy your textbooks brand new from the college bookstore.  In fact, buy all of your school supplies from the college bookstore, too.  That way you can kick yourself when you finally figure out that used textbooks online can save you hundreds of dollars.

You can never have enough Easy Mac, Chef Boyardee, and Top Ramen.  You have that Freshman 15 to tackle, so get a head start on that.

Remember all that cash you received from your high school graduation party?  STASH IT!!  Put it in a safe and secure place that is locked and hidden.  That way, when you are issued your first underage ticket, you can pay the fine and not have to ask your parents for the money.

As tempting as all the Best Buy, Verizon, and U.S. Cellular ads are, you DO NOT need a brand new top-of-the-line cell phone, laptop, iPad, iPod, or any other gadget.  In fact, most professors frown upon having laptops in lecture because, let's face it, you're not diligently adding notes to the Power Points.  You're on Facebook.  Cell phones in class are about as cool as walking into the class with a fully loaded shotgun and coonskin cap.  Yes, the dumbasses before you tried texting exam answers and that put the ban on cell phones.  In addition, I have been on MANY college campuses and happen to know that there are computers there for you to use.  Printers, too.

Here's a list of things I considered must-haves for my backpack when in college:
  • Small stapler 
  • Highlighters - at least 3 different colors
  • 2-3 mechanical pencils 
  • 3 pens
  • Post-it notes
  • 2 Flash drives  (Why 2, you ask?  BACK UP EVERYTHING!  Well, the important stuff.  With technology these days, there's no excuse for having something "not working" or "not saved")
As a side note, buy 1 good backpack and take care of it.  I have had the same backpack through two years of high school, three years of an associate's degree, four years of work in education, and four years of my bachelor's degree.

Now, I have never lived in the dorms.  I have been in one and they are tiny.  Pack wisely. 

Other considerations for shopping:
  • One subject notebooks will not get you far in college  Go for the three-subject notebooks
  • Be prepared to print quite a bit.  Most professors use Power Point lectures.  If you plan to print these, have three-ring binders on hand and your own 3-hole punch.
  • Most, if not all, colleges/universities will have free planners, but they are not always very big.  I always wanted one with lots of space to keep myself organized!  Office Max have the best ones that I have found.
Whether you're living on or off campus, just remember that at some point, some of the crap you bring with you will probably end up on a curb with a "FREE" sign attached to it.    

Monday, July 4, 2011

Top Ten Ways to Celebrate Independence Day!!

10.  Throw a Fit in a Campground!!  Nothing says "Independence" like being handcuffed and spanked with a boatload of charges for misbehaving.

9.  What better way to spend the 4th of July than on the water?  Just make sure you plan ahead.  If you can't plan ahead, get your lazy ass out of your vehicle and walk up to the ATM to avoid any potential disasters.  

8.  FOUR WORDS:  Hot Dog Eating Contest!!!  The 4th of July just would not be The 4th of July without a massive heart attack!

7.  Weather permitting, a leisurely bike stroll is always a 4th of July favorite!

Don't forget to take your friends, too!

6.  Explosives!!!  Lots of illegal explosives to show the world you are free to do whatever you want!

5.  GO SWIMMING!!!!!!!

4.  Show your patriotic side by setting up this one of a kind Americana rig at your favorite camping location.  Unfortunately, for those in Minnesota, you'll have to park it somewhere the government has not shut down. 

3.  Don't do a damn thing and write about it on your Facebook status!!! 


And the Number One Way to Celebrate Independence Day:

1.  Wear Sunscreen!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Sunny Side Up

Wednesday morning, I went downstairs to my truck, put my camera bag and laptop bag in the backseat, shut the door, and got in.  I drove all the way to work and it wasn't until I stepped out into the parking lot and went to open the back door of the truck that I noticed this:

How I managed to drive four miles without noticing the egg splattered on my mirror is beyond me.  It's probably just that I am not used to being up and about before 9:00 AM. 

So, there's a half of a gallon of milk in my fridge that expired on June 12th.  I also have some stale Cheez-Its and the world's moldiest bowl of Mac & Cheese in the garbage that hasn't gone out yet.  If I wasn't so fond of sleeping, I would spend the night waiting for the drive-by chefs to come back and make them a concoction all my own.

As long as we're talking about eggs, I figured you might enjoy reading these:

12 Extraordinary Facts about Eggs