Thursday, June 9, 2011

Ridonkulous & Other Words to Avoid in a Job Interview

As I prepare my resume and tackle the tedious task of writing cover letters, I think it's time to take a break and share with you my expertise in nailing the job application process.

Here are a few words you should avoid and why:
  • Dumbass: Although this is one of my favorite words to use when referring to some of the undesirables I have run into, you should not use it in an interview, or on an application/resume.
    • Context Example:  I left that job because my boss was a dumbass.  
  • Ginormous: It may be cute on the elementary and middle school playground, but there is a time and place for it.  I suppose, if you're applying for a job at Walmart, go for it.  Otherwise, get a Thesaurus and find a replacement for it.
    • Context Example:  Yeah, I'm on disability because my last job, I had to put these ginormous blow up dolls on the highest shelves in the store and one attacked me.
  • Bacne: If your "back acne" comes up in conversation, you are entirely beyond help and I will have to just accept the fact that I am forever going to be paying taxes to support your ridonkulous dumbass.  Enough said.
    • Context Example: Sorry I'm late.  I had a hell of a time trying to pop some of my bacne.
  • Like:  There's a time and place for this word.  It is not a space-filler for when you're stuck or thinking.  Silence is better than like.  If you are an "um" and "like" user, be warned that some people will start mentally counting how many times you use your two words.  What this means is a) they don't give a rat's ass about what you're saying anymore because they are too distracted by the "um" and "like" overdose and b) you probably aren't going to be called for a second interview. 
    • Context Example: It was like, kind of a lame job, 'cuz like, I'm not really like a people person.
  • Got: It's just a dumb word.  You will sound dumb when you use it.
    • Context Example: I got a good discount on stuff, so I put up with the dumbass boss.
  •  Fantabulous: Again, a great word if Justin Bieber is every single one of your ringtones.  
    • Context Example: I was the most fantabulous employee that gentleman's club has ever seen!
  • Ridonkulous: I must admit, I love this word.  It's just not a good time to showcase your extensive playground vocabulary when you're trying to land a job.  
    • Context Example: My schedule was RIDONKULOUS!!!  They kept expecting me to work, like, everyday. 
I'm sure there are more words I could add to this list, but it's way past my bedtime.  Feel free to add your suggestions in the comment thread!

No comments:

Post a Comment