Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Determining my "worth"

Out of curiosity, I did a Google search to see how much celebrity impersonators make in Las Vegas.  Are you ready for this?  Anywhere from between $150 - $1000 an hour.  Some have been known to make over $3000 for an event.  Now that my lip is movable and I can do my "Celine Dion" again... I think I best be getting on the next plane out of here.  Any suggestions on how to grow 6 inches taller?

So I started thinking about this.  I'm pretty much broke, but I'm way too talented, skilled, and crafty to be broke.  I'm not a huge spender.  Well, my problem is actually that lately I'm not a huge earner, either!  Welcome to the wonderful world of freelance/self-employment, I guess.

So tonight, here I am analyzing how much I am worth:
  • Street musician in a decent sized city:  $55,000/year (avg.)
  • Sign language interpreter: $22,000/year (avg.)
  • Emerging photographer: $30,000/year (avg.)
  • Celine Dion Impersonator: $4,400 (avg.)  (This would just be a few gigs a year... fun money!)
  • Blogger: $17/hour (avg.) = $25,000/year (avg. part-time)
  • Professional Yodeler: No information on salary found.  Deemed PRICELESS
  • Biopsychology majors: $43,000/year (avg.)
  • Gigging musician: $24,000/year (avg.)
**SO FAR - I am worth: $243,000

Now, remember.  We are in "the real world" now.  It's not all pats on the back, stickers for tying your shoes, and jelly beans for not pissing on the toilet seat.  Time to go back down that corporate ladder and reanalyze the situation.
  • Can't mow a lawn:  -5,000/year
  • Can't drive a stick shift: -1,500/year
  • Can't cook for crap: -25,000/year
  • Not fluent in Spanish: -30,000/year
  • Solo musician w/out a band: -12,000/year
  • Photography equipment: -10,000/year
  • Rude people who don't call to cancel and just let you show up and wait: -2500/year
  • Attire for "professional" stuff: -500/year
  • Attire for the music, impersonations, etc: -3,000/year
  • Insurance to cover all this stuff you have to have: -2,400/year
  • Biopsychology: lack of a master's or doctorate: -35,000/year
**My worth is down to $103,100 . . . but WAIT!  We're not done, yet...
  • I write crappy cover letters: -18,000/year
  • Gas to travel all over creation: -3,500/year
  • Lapsed interpreting license: - 22,000/year
  • Moving expenses: -5,000/year
  • Excessive amounts of Pro Bono work: -5,500
**This brings me back down to $49,000 ... but WAIT!!!  We have one more:

  • STUDENT LOANS... $49,000
**TOTAL WORTH:  $0.00

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