Pointless Poetry: The 'Wednesday Sucks' Poem

The 'Wednesday Sucks' Poem

Woke up before my alarm clock.
Way before my alarm clock.
I called this inanimate object a four-letter word
with "er" added to the ending
and began my day.
Took a shower and brushed my teeth
for the third time this week.
Even added a little mascara to my lashes
and halfway expected to hear a round of applause
coming from the audience
that does not exist
because my life is not a freaking sitcom

But it could be.  Especially if you were watching
as I tried to assemble my bicycle yesterday
in the middle of 19th Street.
Two minutes of struggling
to keep the tire balanced between my feet
while trying to attach the frame
when it dawned on me
to turn the bike
upside down.

Maybe I could ride my bike to school
for biology lab tonight
and crash
because the tire isn't assembled properly
and then I could blame a head injury
for not knowing my ass from a hole in the ground
in that class.