Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Signs of Senioritis

I have the sleeping schedule of an infant, the patience of a toddler, the acne of a teenager, the wrists of a retired interpreter, and the memory of an Alzheimer's patient.  I called my chiropractor and apparently they don't do attitude adjustments.  So, I have no choice but to self-medicate with high doses of caffeine, lots of bed rest, and plenty of mindless activities like Facebook and flossing my teeth.

Yesterday, I came home from school at 1:00.  (Please note: I did not attend my 1:10-2:30 class.)  My eyelids couldn't stay open, so I did what anyone suffering from senioritis would do: I took a nap.

At 5:30 I rolled myself out of bed and decided to go to Barnes and Noble.  Now, I go to the cafe and notice a girl sitting at one of the tables and I instantly do not like her.  Why?  Because she's sitting next to the only outlet in the darn place with both a phone and a laptop plugged in.  How inconsiderate!  With only about 45 minutes left on the laptop battery, I took a seat a few tables down and tried to make the most of my battery's life.

Soon, the unlikable girl two tables down was joined by two more twerps and they were having a study session.  Topic: Statistics.  UGH.  I was ready to pull my thinning hair out, but decided I would do the rational thing and stare at them as though they were aliens.  I could not help it.  Staring might be a side-effect of senioritis.  In fact, I'm pretty sure it is.  That might be a senioritis stage 2 or 3 symptom.  When drooling occurs, you've graduated into stage 4.

Someone needs to make a brochure about senioritis.  I guess I will since I don't have much else going on.

Anyway. . .

The point I was trying to make about my trip to Barnes and Noble was simply this: Senioritis decreases tolerance of all things. . . except alcohol.  Or, so I hear.

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