Friday, September 10, 2010

Study Tips for the Below Average

Week three begins next week.  Really?  It's only been three weeks?  Is it just me, or should it be December already?  Week three marks my first exam of the semester.  Have I mentioned that I still haven't purchased all of my textbooks?  That's another blog entry, though. So, you're probably wondering how such a remarkable student like myself prepares for these exams.  Here goes...

     Sleep is essential for exams.  Typically, the night before an exam I am in bed by seven p.m.  One of my life philosophies is to treat myself like I am a child and children need about twelve hours each night.

Eat a Good Breakfast
     This is a no-brainer.  Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.  On exam days it's coffee and donuts.  Once in a while, I'll eat a banana just to balance it all out.

    Generally, you must have the textbooks to study; therefore, this can be a problem for those student (who shall remain nameless) who have decided not to purchase their textbooks until they have officially decided to take a leave of absence for the semester.

Stay Away from Facebook
     Hahhaa.  Yeah right.  That's like telling a teenager not to text and drive.  Go ahead - go on Facebook.  Announce to everyone that you have an exam so they know you're not studying and you're playing on Facebook.

Show Up
     Even if the only question you get right is your name, at least you were present. 

When in Doubt...
  • Draw pictures on the test!  The prof will appreciate it.  Maybe.
  • Don't pick "C".  That hardly ever works for me.
  • Also, the scantron sheet hardly ever has a pattern, but you can still try to make a pretty one.
  • DON'T CHEAT OFF YOUR NEIGHBOR.  This is about as Freshman as it gets.  It's better to just be a dumbass than to be a cheating dumbass. 
Get Creative
     If you climb the construction crane the night before the exam, you'll be in jail the next day and can't take it.  If someone flicks their cigarette ash in your face, your eye is going to be irritated and you probably shouldn't take the test.  Plus, the water leaking out of it is going to smear the paper.

Get REALLY Creative
     Take study tips from the Learning Center and not me.  You might actually have a chance, then.

Good luck! 

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